Becoming God Read online

  “Really? Now I am anxious to know what that would be.”

  “You are not just a normal human like others. You are destined to do the impossible. Nothing in this world is impossible for you to do. Nothing can harm you, as you believe. When you were born, you were born for a reason, and the reason is big.”

  “So you mean to say I have got extraordinary powers to do anything? Can I also make people alive and dead?”

  “Well, that depends, but now you are speaking sarcastically. You know why you are having this conversation with me today and not sometime back in your life. Because you were not ready back then. You hadn’t experienced the world then.”

  “The creator of this world wanted you to experience this world completely. Every bit of it. You are not born to destroy, rather to make things and save things. They watched you when you were doing things; they watched you when evil was in your head. Now they know that you have the capacity to fight that evil and restore the positivity in you and everyone.”

  “Really, do you think so?”

  “You should remember that you are talking to yourself. Being diplomatic won’t work with me. I know what you know, but I also know what you don’t know and beyond that. From your birth until now. I am your conscious that has always been there even when you were in mother’s womb.”

  “Agreed, I always tried not to harm anyone intentionally or emotionally. Isn’t that what a good man should be like? I tried to be natural.”

  “Yes, but there is more to it. Let’s not debate on things that matter not at this time, rather focus on what I am here to tell.”

  “Are you here to give me some powers or to just tell me what I already know?”

  “No, you already have everything. My job is to make you realise the powers that are within you and help you put them to use. They have been within you waiting for this day to come. Your knowledge about life will be enhanced starting today.”

  “Fine. So how do we proceed?”

  “It’s not a machine that will be turned on by a button. You think that I will give you some bundle of powers or a banana to eat. Well, my friend, you are overexpecting.”

  “The power is already within you as I said. You are already very powerful. More than you think. You need to realise the existence of these powers within you.”

  Now that is confusing. I was like, what is going on today with me? Someone who looks like me is saying that I have ultimate powers and I never saw them or realised them and now, I have to feel the existence of these powers within me. Where could they possibly be hidden?

  “What are you thinking?”

  “Lot of things. First of them being how to get back.”

  “I know what you are thinking. I told you I know everything.”

  “Fuck, it just skipped my mind. So you tell me, how can I go back. And if you knew what I was thinking, why did you ask?”

  “To remind you and because it’s important that it comes from your mouth to make it real in this world.”

  “I am just very confused about all this.”

  “Ok. Let’s get to a point where you have a better understanding. So as I said earlier, there are two words hope and belief, and everything revolves around these two things. These two magical words are the source of any power. When someone gains control over these two, he becomes self-sufficient to do anything in this world. But at the same time, it’s not easy to do this.”

  “Creating your own future means you think about something that you hope will happen in your future and then you start believing in its existence, but your belief should be so strong that it doesn’t get changed by any other person, thought, or related incidents.”

  “Your surroundings will give you a lot of temptations and lot of problems, but you just stick to what you decided for yourself positively. You first start with creating the holistic picture and gradually complete the bits of that imagination, and the final part automatically becomes real.

  “It’s like believing in God and nothing less than that. We all think of a future we like to live in and then believe that it will come to existence someday.”

  “It doesn’t actually become a reality, most things are just imaginary.”

  “Yes, you are right. It remains so for most of the people who don’t have strong belief and positivity. You and most humans have been practicing this since childhood, but you never realised it so deeply that it actually exists. It’s now when you should begin practicing this to make things happen.”

  “Well, I have experienced something like that. But I think it’s like a dream or déjà vu as it has occurred to me sometimes. Is that what you call ‘getting to existence?’”

  “Well, I would say it’s quite similar to that. You have to become a person who has the powers to create a déjà vu every minute and every second in your mind so that you know what will be next. It means you should be able to design your world, and at the same time, you should be able to make immediate changes based on the circumstances. You need to get proficient in doing so. Even now, your mind is designing a future for you. You just need to take control to get it designed as per your desires.”

  “I know it’s not a day job, as it comes with practice. It may take you months or years to become proficient. Believe me, this is not that hard for you. As I said, you have been doing this unknowingly until now. Knowing you are working on such things will give you more power and passion in doing it. Most people on earth are not competent in doing this, and others who know this fact just know it and can’t inline their energies to make this possible. Very few humans know it, and with time, they make it possible for themselves. But even for them, it’s just sometimes. You need to master that in every circumstance.”

  All he said came as a surprise to me, as this was something that was not practiced on earth. I always thought God created the future for us, but now my consciousness was telling me it was always me. It was hard to believe.

  Still, I could relate to what he was telling me. I had such experiences before where I had known what would happen next, but I had always thought they were coincidences. I started believing in every word he said, and why shouldn’t I, as he was me. By now, I understood there had been something different about me all these years. I always had the sense but hadn’t realised it.

  He said, “So my work is done here, and yours starts here. Life will not be same as earlier, Parnog, and you have to keep experiencing this world to become what you really are. Now on, life will bring you magical events; it will also come with hurdles and struggles. Be prepared for everything. Face every challenge, and don’t run away from it, as in the end, you will only learn and never lose. This will only hone your skills and increase your potential beyond your previous experiences. But you have to win them all.”

  My mind was already flooded with thoughts since morning, and now there was this power thing.

  “Why is life so difficult, why can’t it be easy?” I asked him, but he was not there.

  He was gone, I looked inside my clothes to find him. I tried searching for him outside but found no trace of him. I tried to walk on the same path he came from, but no one was around.

  Where has he gone?

  Well, he dumped me here, and now what am I supposed to do? How can I believe that I am back on the flight when I am standing here on the mountain? Hey, would you help me get back? Please listen to me. I tried to speak to me. Me…you…or whosoever you were, take me back.

  No answers…I looked straight and could see the point on the mountain where they had this big mobile tower. I recalled, from my childhood days, that I used to look at it from my house. And now, I was standing right next to it, very close to the tower. What a life. I never thought that I would be here one day, looking back at my town, trying to find my home.

  “Sir, you there, Sir? Mr. Parnog…Sir, are you all right…Please confirm.”

  Someone was knocking the door. But I could only hear the voice. I couldn’t see any door.

  “Sir, are you all right? Please c
onfirm. Sir…”

  I heard someone calling me. The voice was also familiar. Oh, this was Ms. Cruzan’s voice. God, is she also here on the mountain? But why can’t I see her?

  “Mr. Parnog, if you don’t reply in the next 5 seconds, we will break open the door.”

  I said, “Mad people, I am at the mountain, who are you speaking to?”

  The door was knocked down.

  “Sir, Sir…” They shook me, and I got back to my senses. Ohh, I could see Ms. Cruzan now, finally.

  I murmured, “Why are you here. Did the door open?”

  “Yes, Sir. We opened the door. How are you?”

  I realised I had been dreaming and tried to open my eyes. Two or three crew members were there looking at me. I looked down and saw my phone and earphone on the floor. My pants were half-closed. I got up and tied my pants.

  I had been dreaming and unconscious until then. Everyone was looking at me.

  “What happened?” I asked the crew.

  Ms. Cruzan said, “You have been inside the restroom for more than 10 minutes, and moreover, you were not even responding. We were worried about you. After a little turbulence, we heard a banging sound from the restroom. I believe you hit yourself and became unconscious. How are you feeling now?”

  I replied, “I am ok, give me just one minute.”

  They accompanied me to my seat and gave me a few complimentary drinks. As I walked to my seat, everyone on the plane stared at me. I was probably the most popular person on this plane now, with two incidents having happened to me in a matter of an hour. I delayed the flight according to them, and now I had occupied the restroom for God knows how long.

  God, what’s happening? What’s next?

  “Thank you, Cruzan.”

  Ms Cruzan said, “Do you need any medical help, Sir? Let me check your head. Yes, your forehead is a little swollen but looks like there is nothing to worry about. Will run you through the medical check once we reach the airport. Hope you are feeling fine now.”

  “Yes, I am; it’s ok for now.”

  Ms Cruzan said, “Please let me know if you need anything, Sir.”

  She also gave me a warm towel for my head and applied some ointment for immediate relief.

  “Surely. Thank you for asking. I appreciate it.”

  As she left, I looked to my right. The lady at the window seat was sleeping facing the window, and the other co-passenger was still watching the same movie.

  I then looked out the window. It was very dark outside.

  Several thoughts ran through my mind. Some were due to pain from the fall and some because of the incident on the mountain…I was not sure what would happen next. What did my thoughts want to convey?

  I figured there must be a reason behind everything that had happened. I believe that nothing in life happens without reason. The reasons appear to you, sometimes soon after or after a long time. We do things that build our future; we experience things that help us face problems in future. It’s a kind of cycle. That is something important I learnt from that experience.

  Half of my life, I believed God created our future and now my consciousness was telling me something new. I was now a little confused as to whom to believe. God or myself? Still, I had never met God, so I chose to ponder over believing in myself a bit more.

  I realised I had experienced all that he said a few times, and at those moments, I thought maybe things that happened were supposed to happen. And that’s why I knew it. Now as per my consciousness, all those things happened because I made them happen. Maybe I thought about the things I wanted to happen in my life, but I never thought they would actually happen.

  Maybe I was not positive about those things happening and existing in my life like I wanted them to be.

  I remember a day back when I was 5 years old. I saw a plane flying in space. I asked my uncle about it.

  He said, “It’s a machine that flies like a bird, and you can sit inside and enjoy the ride.”

  I asked him, “How I can get in?”

  He replied, “You need to pay for it.”

  I asked him how much. He replied, “Quite a lot, ask your father.”

  At that time, travelling in a plane was only a rich man’s game, but that was not something a child could understand I didn’t know what ‘quite a lot’ meant. All I wanted was to sit inside the plane.

  A week after that, my mother told me we were moving out of town as my father had gotten posted to a new place. I had never travelled out of my hometown and house much. But this was not the reason for my happiness, as I hardly knew what another place would be like. The reason was a different one.

  As the roads to the new place were not constructed properly and it was quite a height above sea level, more than 3500 metres to be precise, we were going to be travelling by plane. It was also the fastest means to get there.

  I hadn’t realised it was I who had got us to that plane ride. But I knew now, when you’re a child, your desire is very positive and clear. You just think of what you want the most with all the positive energy within you.

  Well, now I understood what he really wanted to convey. He was asking me to create a future with positive and pure energy like I did back in my childhood. But as we grow, we bear the burden of negative thoughts, which always tries to divert us from our desires and will.

  It’s the same feeling when someone asks God for a miracle and it happens. We don’t ask God, we ask ourselves by reflecting the same faith in God.

  My sandwich was still lying in front of me and as thinking always makes me hungry, I grabbed my sandwich and had a big bite of it.

  Suddenly, I heard a noise a big BANG BOOOOM. I wondered—what now? I looked around. Everyone was looking around to see where the noise came from, and we figured out it was from outside the plane. The plane was off balance now. Everyone in the plane woke up and started to look outside.

  In a few seconds, the plane tilted towards the right. The passengers became cautious and air masks fell out of the box. We were anxious now.

  The pilot said on the speaker, “Please be with us. We have lost our right engine, and we are planning for a swift landing at the airport nearby. Please don’t panic and get the required help from the airline crew. Also keep your precautionary items ready.”

  It was alarming; someone noticed that there was fire coming out of the right engine. People started looking at it. Some became paranoid and started asking for the pilot. There was a situation of panic inside the plane.

  The pilot requested everyone to be calm and patient as the plane could make an emergency landing safely using the second engine at the airfield nearby or whatever possible options were available. He also asked everyone to follow the emergency manual kept in their seats and asked them to wear the water survival kit, as a situation where they may have to land on water may arise too, and we had to be prepared for everything.

  All the crew members were also scared as a few of them had just joined the airlines and for most, it was a new experience. I could see that in Cruzan’s eyes, but she was still acting brave. Everyone was supporting their co-passengers. Some of the volunteers got out of their seats and helped others to tie the water bags and render whatever help possible.

  Everyone was in shock as the plane tilted a little towards the left. Carry bags were pulled out of the case. People called on their own Gods and most were sure they would die that day. But it was the pilot who kept everyone’s hopes high, asking them to calm down, and updating them about the next move so that they wouldn’t lose hope.

  I saw a guy running towards the pilot cabin; he was so paranoid that the cabin crew had to hold him. Another guy from the seat nearby helped get him seated and consoled him. The plane was going downwards and losing its height rigorously. Suddenly, we heard another blast. This time, it was from the left side. The moment this happened, everyone went silent. I saw my co-passenger’s face and all it said was ‘Bye.’ Surprisingly, the lady at the window seat was still looking outside the window even und
er these volatile circumstances.

  It seemed like everyone was lost with no hope left. They saw the left engine in flames. Now everyone knew this would be the last day of their lives.

  There were only a few people left yelling. The others sat tight waiting for the last moments of their life, remembering the memories of their lives and what they had planned for the future. The passengers were all shattered, as there were only a few minutes left in their journey of life. I was one of them.

  My co-passenger started telling me, “I was going to see my daughter who just born yesterday, and now I will not be able to see her.” He was crying and completely broken.

  In all this commotion, I didn’t have the time to look at my life and think about what I did in the past and what I couldn’t. I never ever thought this would be the last day of my life. I still had some hope in me that told me You won’t die today.

  I thought about the incidents that had occurred in the recent past and I spoke to myself. All that had happened today couldn’t just be a mystery. There was a reason behind it, and then I suddenly moved towards my co-passenger and spoke to him. “You will see your daughter, believe me.” He looked at me with surprise and hope.

  I focused my mind on what my consciousness was trying to tell me. I thought this was the time I ought to use my skills. I tried to see a future where we would not collide directly on land. We would land safely on sea. No one will die today, and this day will be remembered forever in history as the safest landing in unforeseen turbulent circumstances.

  We then started to descend very quickly, and I thought we were probably at an altitude of 15000 feet, as I could see the land and houses below. The nose of the plane was downwards—it was free falling now. Suddenly, something happened, and the plane was upside down. Something made the plane turn 360 degrees.

  We were now upside down in the plane. It got scarier. A few passengers fell from their seats, as did the crew. However, I still had a feeling that this would not be our last day and the thought just got stronger even though I saw others losing hope.